And so it begins...

so, I was going to be cool.
and not get one of these.
'cause you know, everyone was getting one.

but then everyone had one.

and so I succumbed.


anyways.

I was looking through my journal that sits next to my bed. It has everything. everything over the last few years. as I skimmed through it (as I often do) I noticed a line that I had put in a box so to seperate it from the rest of my writing.

infuse my soul. You are pure satisfaction.

wow.
So often I am wrapped in myself and how I can satisfy myself.
but that line, pure satisfaction.

imagine that you don't desire money. clothes. popularity. cool friends. killer looks with a perfect body to go along with. you don't desire attention, you don't desire revenge.
He is all you desire.
He is your pure, your perfect, satisfaction.

I came to the realization recently that I think about myself nearly constantly. we hear this all the time. "I'm selfish. I think about me all the time." but it's one thing to really come to that realization on your own. I constantly worry about how something will affect me. I want to be continuously happy. I am devoted to me.

so I'm listening to this Hillsong CD that my parents got me for Valentines Day (music...it's how they show me they love me haha (: )
and they keep repeating this line
I offer You devotion

devotion is a pretty all-encompassing thing.
it doesn't leave a whole lot of room for selfishness.

hmm.
it doesn't leave a whole lot of room for selfishness.