i used to blog incessantly. write incessantly. transfer my thoughts from one medium to another incessantly. the act of writing used to be necessary. i had so much running through my brain that i had to empty it out frequently.
i haven't been "blogging" (with or without an actual blog) much recently.
i really enjoy writing.
not really sure why i dropped the habit.
i guess people change.
but how much? how much can we really change?
physical change is easy; i can dye or cut my hair, put on new clothes, eat more or go on a diet, use Crest White Strips...yea, physical change is easy.
but i'm talking about true change. mental, inner, spiritual change. a change of attitude, outlook, and core values.
how much can one person really change? can we change our personality? level of morality? tastes, preferences, and desires?
as a culture, we hear the stories. the sappy romance movies where the bad boy changes his ways, all for the love of a girl. the inspirational novels where the originally shady hero undergoes a life-altering situation and is suddenly struck with the uncontrollable urge to do large amounts of good.
we hear the stories. we believe most of them.
it's a word that implies hope, fear, restlessness, happiness...but how much do we really know about it? how much do we really know about change? is there any way a person can change so drastically so that they're like a new human being?
would a boy change for love? would a shady hero change for the sake of others?
i can't promise an answer for those questions.
but there is one question i can answer:
would a wretch change by and for the love of a Savior?
any time i am asked how i know God exists, all i say is,
"i know what i used to be. then i encountered God, and i'm not the same."
did i change?
am i different person?
yes and no.
if you knew me during middle school, well, i'm very sorry. wasn't a pretty picture, was it? my values, priorities, and focus (not to mention my style...thank you LORD) have all changed drastically.
but my being. my core. my personality, traits, and habits...are they the same?
i'm still stubborn. still independent. still focused. still insecure. still proud. still...everything. some good, some bad.
so what's different?
i know i'm not the same.
but have i changed?
submission is key.
i'm still me. i'm still a fallen creature. but i have help.
when Jesus allowed Himself to be tried and found guilty; when He allowed Himself to have heavy metal nails rammed through his wrists; when He chose to say 'It is finished' and welcome death, He told humanity
I'm here to love. I'm here to forgive. and I'm here to help.
the devil knows exactly where my weak points are, and if i am not submitted, wholly under the authority of our Creator, then the devil will waste no time in riling up those old, fallen ways: habits and sins i never could have overcome on my own.
if i don't submit, then i reject this free help. this wonder that is the broken body of Christ.
this wonder that allows me to change through the power that overcame death.
i may not be a different person - if i stray from my Lord, it's only a matter of time before the anger, pride, and insecurities show their faces again - but i am different.
i can have peace when i'm upset.
i can feel loved with no one around.
i can be satisfied when i have nothing.
all because of the perfection that is the sacrifice of Christ.
i didn't earn it.
i didn't have to change first.
i just had to let it change me.
so, can people change?
can submission to the same Father Christ Himself submitted to, change people?